Toughest Four Days Ever

Moore4u · Post by **Moore4u** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 9:39 pm

I linger around the boards here almost everyday, but seldom do I post. I own a 2004 Orange/ black Rockster and absolutley love it. This past Saturday, I was at a family reunion. I did not ride my bike, (although I had wanted to) but one of my brothers rode his 2002 Triumph Daytona. We all had a blast, family from as far away as CA was in attendence( I live in NC). Towards the end of the day, one of my other brothers, (who also owns a motorcycle) decided to take my brothers bike out for a ride. My 36 year old older brother never came home. He leaves behind his parents, 4 brothers, his wife, and 6 beautiful children. His wife is also pregnant with number seven. This has been the hardest 4 days of my life, I did not know a soul could ache as mine does now. My wife has decided to sell her motorcycle, I have yet to make up my mind. My mother said it right when she told my wife that the motorcycle did not kill my brother, he did. He had a cruiser and has been riding for some time. He was NOT skilled on a street bike. He drove beyond his skill on an unfamiliar bike, he paid the ultimate price, he doesn't get another chance to get it right. He doesn't get to see his kids grow up and get married and have kids of their own. PLEASE, I BEG YOU, BE CAREFUL. It doesn't take an idiot to pull out in front of you, we can just as easily do it to ourselves. And although my brother died instantly, I had to watch him lay there under a sheet for an hour holding my grieving mother, and 2 of my other brothers, while the coroner was on his way to say he was dead. My brother felt no pain, I feel no end of it. I love my motorcycle, but it may be weeks, or months before I can get on it again, I have alot to ponder.

Post by **taosports** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:22 pm

Thank you for a most difficult post. We will all learn from it. My prayers and best wishes to you and your family. Take care.

Post by **DJ Downunder** » Wed Jul 12, 2006 11:27 pm

Thanks Moore4u...sorry about your loss..it's very sad indeed.

Your mother is right in saying " the motorcycle did not kill my brother, he did."

It could have happened in a sports car..but you never hear people say..'I'm selling my car'.

Thanks for sharing that with us...it can happen so easy..your brother who lent him his bike must feel so bad.

DJ

Post by **DSKYZD** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 5:30 am

I feel compelled to post a reply, but I'm at a loss for what exactly to say.

You never hear people accept what happened the way your mother seems to have. Most simply blame the bike.

Know that you have my deepest sympathy, as well as that of anyone who reads your post. I'm truly sorry for what you're going through. May you be blessed with strength for your family.

Thanks for sharing.

DSKYZD

Post by **socalrob** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 6:24 am

Moore4u,

Thats such a tough story. Please take care of your brother who loaned the bike. I'm sure he is in a bad place right now. You don't say if alcohol was involved, I'm not being judgemental, but I imagine at a family gathering it could easily have been. The combination of a nice day, a strange bike, poor skill set, poor fitting or non existent helmet/gear & a bit of drink can sure be deadly. And how do you tell a brother he can't take your ride for a spin? That's not easy.

Motorcycle riding is so complex, so much more than jumping in a strange car for a ride around the block. I look back a few years & marvel that I survived getting the riding skills I have now. While riding I feel that other riders are much more dangerous than car drivers. Especially on group rides. Its so important to know our own limits, and it is so sad your brother did not survive his mistake to learn. Life can be so hard & unforgiving.

You are probably one of the few people who can step in & try to fill the void in your brother's childrens lives, to help give them the chance to grow up whole instead of broken. Please consider making the sacrifices needed to really be involved with them, if you can I doubt you would ever regret it, & it would be the the best thing you could do in memory of your lost brother.

You truly have my sympathy. Regarding riding your bike, I can see where it might be too traumatic on you & your family (especially if you have kids too) right now. If you decide to give up riding or keep riding, both can be the right thing to do, it just depends on you. The best thing might be to put that decision off for some time. You will know in your heart what is right.

Post by **Boxer** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 7:35 am

Corey,
I too would like to express my sympathy for your loss this morning. I have 4 brothers as well and having ridden bikes most of my life I know how easy it is to let one of my brothers hop on the bike for a test spin. Don't let your other brother get himself down too much about it. As you said in your post this kind of thing can happen to any of us at any time.
But grieving is a good thing. Just don't dwell on death. Leave death behind and remember your brother for what he was and what he did in life.
Take care my friend and if you're ever back over here in north GA. let me know. We can do some riding and talking.

Phil

Post by **wncbmw** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 8:37 am

Moore4u- I can't post anything that will ease your pain but know that you have our sympathy and support if it helps. Your mother was right that it wasn't the bike but that offers little comfort so soon to a tragic death.

Be strong for those left behind. The pain will probably never go away but life will have to go on. Let us know how you are doing later.

Post by **toner87** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 10:11 am

Very sad news, indeed. Be careful everyone.
T.

Post by **rdsmith3** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:11 am

I am at a loss for words. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your brother's family.

Post by **LonestaRR** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:17 am

I'm so sorry you have lost your brother this way. My sympathy, thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Your mother must be a very special woman to have raised five boys and to have done such a good job that you all would plan for family get togethers even as adults. There are not a lot of families with that kind of bond anymore. Her strength is evident in her comment to you. I suppose it will be the strength of the family that will carry all of you through this. Certainly, your sister-in-law will need to feel that familial strength in the coming days. I will be praying for courage, comfort and grace for your family.

Capt. Blackadder · Post by **Capt. Blackadder** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 11:27 am

Very sad news indeed. My deepest condolences.

Post by **rph802** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:35 pm

I cant imagine much more horrible than the scenario you laid out for us.

There was a similar tragedy in my own family. I was very young at the time so I never knew the whole story but my sister in law's brother was killed on a bike. That is why her and my brother are among the few fully geared Harley riders you will run into.

My heart goes out to you and your family.

Craig

popgazer · Post by **popgazer** » Thu Jul 13, 2006 12:46 pm

Every time someone posts a story of a big loss like yours, the sorry feeling is as strong each time, although we have read a few annoucements on this board.
As one who recently lost 2 family members, I know that grieving takes time but we must keep going.
My sympathy goes to your family and especially to your brother. Your mother is a wise woman, what she said will help your brother, too.