The Male Thought Process.........I don't get it.

[GypsyRR]

I went for a 6-7 hour ride today and had an experience that left me puzzled and so I thought some of you guys could help me understand it. And it might help you to hear a girl’s perspective on some of things men say that don’t make much sense.

I stopped to get gas at a busy corner convenience store. My routine in getting gas is more like a pit stop. I stay on the bike and just fill the tank, reset the trip odometer and then leave. Since I’m not getting off the bike anyway, I don’t remove my helmet, sunglasses, or jacket. I just get the gas and leave.

I have dark hair that extends past my helmet, but because my jacket is dark it blends in with it or it gets curled up inside the collar of my jacket. So sometimes it isn’t noticeable. I know this sounds like an insignificant point, but read on. I think it plays into what happened.

So I'm sitting on the bike, pumping the gas, but it keeps shutting off. Since I don’t like getting gasoline on my bike or my clothes, I have to watch it closely because I have to hold the nozzle a little higher than I should and it won’t shut off automatically when I do that. I have my helmet on and my head is bent down over the tank looking in it.

As I'm pumping the gas and looking into the tank, out of the corner of my eye I see this guy walk out of the store and is headed to his truck. I finish pumping the gas at the same time he comes out of the store, so as I am hanging the nozzle and hose back up I can see him in the reflection on the glass of the pump. In the reflection I can tell that he has decided he is not going to get in his truck, but is instead coming toward me. So I keep my head down and back turned and act busy and keep watching his reflection. He stands on the side of my bike and starts talking about the bike and says something like "Hmmm, a BMW. A good lookin' bike. Is it a GS?" I act like I don't know he is there since I have my back to him and a helmet on, and instead just keep busy. I have ear plugs in too, so I am ready to use that as an excuse for not talking readily to him if I need to. Well, he keeps talking and I realize I'm going to have to talk to this guy. I'm not worried about being in danger or anything. It IS daylight in a major convenience store with a lot of people around and so danger isn’t my worry. I just didn't want to talk to the guy. He was loud and boisterous when he went into the store and is loud again and I just don’t want the attention of the crowd gathered at the corner store.

He says, "That bike will last you another 30 years! Those boxer engines will go on forever. I met a guy from Russia who had a half a million miles on his (or maybe he said one million, I can't remember) and he had ridden it all over the world. This isn't the GS! What is it? It looks brand new." So trying to be polite, I answer. I lift up my head and look at him and say, "You're right. It's not the GS. It's the BMW R1150R but it isn't new. It's the '05. They don't make this one anymore. Now they are making R1200R's, they are a little lighter and have more horsepower, but still look basically like this one."

Then there is this look of shock on his face and he says, "DA^^N! It's a girl. $h^t, it's a girl. Oh, don't tell me it's a girl! That ruins everything. A girl riding a motorcycle? A girl riding a BMW?" And he's real animated and drawing attention which I don't want.

Still trying to be polite, yet not wanting to answer typical follow-up questions or comments, I put on my gloves turned the key and said "Yeah, well, when I was researching which bike would be the best one for me, this is the one that I decided on. So……… I bought it. I’m glad you like it. Have a good day." Then started the bike and rode off and leaving him standing there.

And as I was driving down the road I thought..."what would make a man say that?" Okay, granted, he came out of the store and my back was turned to him and he was looking at the bike. But still………..his comment when he realized I was not a guy has me puzzled. I mean really.

What is the mindset, the thinking, the motive, or the brain damage that would prompt a man to make a comment like that? I mean it's not that I am offended that he said what he did, he was probably trying to be funny or was just caught off guard when I turned around and spoke and was not a guy. But why would he choose those kinds of words to be funny? It's not funny. Not offensive really, but not funny either. I’m really puzzled by the male mind and that really is the point of my question. I wasn’t offended by him and didn’t really give much thought about him, but his display did cause me to wonder about the male thought process and that is the reason I’m wondering why would a guy say something like that and make a big scene out of it? And you men say you can’t figure out women……….??????

[DJ Downunder]

I don't think it's a guy thing..maybe just a little..but..I know women who would carry on the same way..I'm not sure about the US but here women riders are rare..and it come as a shock to see women riders sometimes..still..there's no need to carry on like that...some people are just nutters.

Well that's my take on it...btw..I met this girl at work the other day that rides to work..I've talked to her a few times..asking things like..what made you learn to ride and get a bike..are you going to get a bigger bike..she probably thinks I'm a bit of a nutter..

DJ

[taosports]

...I’m wondering why would a guy say something like that and make a big scene out of it?

Two words : Clueless and Insensitive

We're not all like that

[Doug]

That man had a small brain, and I'm guessing was just a redneck.

I think what you're looking for is an inside view of the male psyche, but I dont think his comment had much to do with being a man. As DJ says, I know women who might make the same comment. He's just a fellow with a perspective that he feels everyone should know about, but the comment is clearly rude and obnoxious.

Your gender has nothing to do with your ability to enjoy the finer things. You keep riding and dont let it bother you!

[beemer-biker]

...I’m wondering why would a guy say something like that and make a big scene out of it?

Two words : Clueless and Insensitive

We're not all like that

I agree. The reason that I started riding was because a couple of friends of mine sort of talked me into it. They were both female riders. One of them had two HD's, and the other prefered crotch rockets. So, because of that, I am never surprised to see women riders. Since I have moved from where I learned to ride, I have some new riding buddies, and one the wife of one of them just took her MSF course about 2 weeks ago. The only bike they have, bought new almost two years ago, is hers, she has just "let" him ride it all this time She rides to work fairly often, too.

[yjleesvrr]

I'm always delighted to see women riding bikes. Most of my friends who ride feel the same way.

[MikeCam]

Quote: "DA^^N! It's a girl. $h^t, it's a girl. Oh, don't tell me it's a girl! That ruins everything."


My words exactly when each of my three daughters were born!!!!!

M

(HUMOR SMILIE FACE)

[touchton]

As Mike just pointed out, there's no 'process'. And there's not much 'thought' that occurs either. You're trying to give us much more credit than we deserve.

[popgazer]

It reminds of a commercial that's been played recently: two guys are walking on the sidewalk, they slow down to stare at a car parked on the street. One of the two loudly describes all the cool features the car has and says " see, the owner of this car is THA MAN...". A girl walks past the two guys gets in the car and takes off. The camera, of course, focuses on the faces of the 2 guys.
Anything that breaks the stereotype looks strange. So, that guy has a stereotype in his mind of the person who should be riding a cool bmw motorcycle. You broke it for him.

[sjbmw]

There is nothing going on inside our heads. We are totally reactionary creatures and the mouth gear engages before the brain system. It's in all of us naturally. It takes years of practice to get it under control. Sometimes we never do.

This guy proved it.

[CycleRob]

Most men care much less about feelings, tact and etiquette towards strangers than women do. It's bravery brewed into the testosterone. If you add a coarse, deprived upbringing where the TV formed his personality - - - - then you'll hear the words GypsyRR heard at the gas pump.

When women quietly freak out over things men consider insignificant, like being asked "How old are you?", see a brown shirt worn with bluejeans, or see him eating chocolate cake with a beer, it's an estrogen thing.

My knowledge, experience and powers of observation has taught me that women are NOT men with different identifiable parts, they are entirely different creatures. That must be why they're all so damn interesting!

[taosports]

There is nothing going on inside our heads...

...see a brown shirt worn with bluejeans...

Something's wrong with that?

[NHighCotton]

I'm with Doug, the guy was a redneck who probably thinks "girls" should be barefoot, pregnant and waiting on the porch.

I'm always happy to see women riders but, I notice they seem stuck-up, especially at gas pumps.

[Shaman]

The same reason that when women say, "Nice bike" about your ride and you say thanks, they follow right up with, "But it is no Harley".

People have preconceived ideas and they can't help it.

[Sunbeemer]

A strange response, but not atypical in some parts of the South --so I'd be interested to know where you were when this happened and if you have an idea if the guy was a local.

My take on it is that I suspect he was hoping to "bond" with a male who he considered higher up in the food chain (because he rode a cool motorcycle) which in his own eyes enhances his self-esteem, and then got his ego bashed when he realized he was trying to male-bond with a girl. Down here there is a dichotomy in the way a man acts toward a man (tough and cool) vs. the way he acts toward a woman (ironically preening and condescending simultaneously). I don't mean to offend any fellow southerners, it's just the way the culture has been down here for a century or more. In any event, I certainly wouldn't take any offense at it as his remarks were mostly directed at himself for being duped! Just a case of incorrect role playing that probably made him feel stupid and ashamed, so he responded defensively. But I'm not a psychologist, just another interested observer of human behaviour.

And I don't mean to start any threads about chauvinism and chivalry in the South. Everyone is entitled to their opinions even if (I think) they're wrong

However I must add that you look terrific (can't believe I almost wrote "smashing" ) in your new riding gear! And I don't think anyone would argue with that opinion!

[chris]

Hey Gypsy,no isights, you just met an a**hole!

[wncbmw]

Ain't a male thing and not a southern thing either! I am a card-carrying member of both clubs and I don't have a clue what (or if) he was thinking!

My reaction would have been "Great to see a woman on something besides a Harley!"

[JCsman]

Ditto what Vann said......



I don't have a CLUE what was goin' thru the po' boys (tiny) mind.

But:
"He ain't a credit to his gender".

[DSKYZD]

As has been said before, all male minds are not the same. No further insight.

DSKYZD

[GypsyRR]

A strange response, but not atypical in some parts of the South --so I'd be interested to know where you were when this happened and if you have an idea if the guy was a local.

Rich, you had some interesting insights as well as all the others. I was in fact in the south in a small rural town which serves as the county seat and this man looked like he belonged on the set of "Deliverance".

The fact that he thought it "ruined everything" that I rode a BMW didn't surprise me too much. I've encountered both men AND women who are surprised that I ride a motorcycle and would dare to take off into "parts unknown" at all, let alone on a motorcycle. And they are always ready to caution me of the dangers. What surprised me the most, however, was the fact that he had no problem announcing his stereotypical thoughts in a demeaning way to not only me but to everyone standing around.

It does seem as some of you have pointed out, that this man did not even have a process for thinking things through. He just had a thought and then immediately blurted it out and needed everyone to hear it and completely bypassed the part of the thinking process where we judge, calculate or weigh our responses and comments.

Yes, I know not all men are like this. Many/MOST of you have proven that not all men are like him. But in this incident it was a man and so that is why I asked you men why he would act like that. The impetus behind my question was really two-part:

1. I really am interested in the psyche of the human mind and for some reason this incident got me really wondering why this man so readily responded to his private thoughts without concern for my feelings and did so without even first questioning his interpretation of the situation or his motives.

2. And mostly I was wondering if it is offensive to men that a woman rides a bike. I know that most of you on this board do not find it offensive, but I do wonder if the general population of "non-riders" find it offensive, odd, or "just not right" and that it "ruins everything" if a woman rides a bike.


And to NHighCotton who said, "I'm always happy to see women riders but, I notice they seem stuck-up, especially at gas pumps." I'm not stuck up.......just shy and scared of men like "Bubba".